Dear Kiantha: Time for mom to follow her own dreams

Dear Kiantha,

I am considering relocating to a new, much bigger city. I am nervous to do so because I’ve lived in Spokane my entire life. My friends and family are not in support of me moving, and while I don’t want to disappoint them, I really feel like it is the right decision for my life. I am a single mother of three adult children who have their own families. I know they will be fine, but they feel like they need me here. Is it selfish that I want to do what is best for me for once?

Dear Friend,

Maybe. Maybe it is selfish to choose yourself when you have always chosen the needs of others over your own and maybe it is time for the pendulum to swing in that direction.

Choosing yourself can feel foreign to people who have built their entire lives around the needs of others. It can feel like you are doing something wrong, something against the grain,something that you should not be doing. And guess what? Do it anyway.

Habits are hard to break even when they no longer serve us and stand directly in the way of our happiness and well-being. It sounds like your spirit is telling you that something greater is calling you, but your memory of making decisions that serve everyone else is resonating at a higher frequency. Listen to the small voice as that is the voice within you that speaks from the soul.

You have done your job; you have raised your children, and they are capable of caring for themselves and their families. Your children are at a place where they are choosing where they want to live (Spokane) and you have the right to choose where you want to live.

Life changes can be hard, especially when those we love are not in full support of our choices, however, that does not make the choice wrong. Know that even in their discomfort they will be OK. The happier they see you are with your choice, the happier they will be for you in time.

It sounds like you all love each other dearly, and you will never be more than a phone dial or video call away. Now go jump on that pendulum and swing right into the life that you want for yourself.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha