Dear Kiantha: Therapy may help on journey to self-acceptance

Dear Kiantha,

I am a plus-size woman. I wear a size 16 in women’s clothing. Most days I see myself as grossly overweight and struggle with getting out of the house due to fear of people staring at me and being repulsed by my weight. My close friend recently suggested that I see a doctor or therapist, but I am afraid to do so for fear of being body shamed by a medical professional.

Dear Friend,

Being what some (and I do mean some) would consider a plus-size person can be difficult especially when we subscribe to society’s very skewed beauty standards for women. We are not talking in this moment of health, although I am sure that there are those who would contend that losing weight would be the solution to what you are dealing with. We can certainly entertain that notion in a moment but, for now, let’s dive into what is most important and that is self-acceptance.

There is nothing gross about your body. Not one single thing. It is the body you have and, if you want to change it that is your choice, but I assure you in its current form it is beautiful.

Would you consider for a moment seeing your body as nothing more than the protective gear that carries your soul. Our true beauty has nothing to do with our weight. Beauty has everything to do with who we are not how heavy we are. Challenge yourself to see your body from a lens of gratitude.

Body dysmorphia is also a real thing. It is a condition that can affect your self-perception and mental well-being.

Working with a professional therapist or counselor can provide you with strategies to manage the way in which you see your body. Keep in mind that what you can manage is how you see your body, what you cannot manage is how others see you. That is not your problem to manage.

In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Everyone has things they wish they could change about their appearance.

As for the optional elephant in the room, weight loss, if losing weight is something you want to do, go for it. Literally one step at a time. I would encourage you to do the internal work first as it will likely change your view of the external.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha

Dear Kiantha can be read Fridays in The Spokesman-Review. To submit your questions, please email DearKiantha@gmail.com.