Front Porch: The maid service will need some time off after all the houseguests

It’s been a long time since I’ve put on a party. Friends over for dinner, sure, but that’s just two extra people and no overnight lodging … and simple to do.

But here I am, on the cusp of relatives arriving at our house to celebrate one birthday and one retirement. They’re coming from different cities and will be staying for different lengths of time, with only one overlapping night.

One guest room is always ready to go, and another one (our oldest son’s former room) is semi-ready. But there’s another room (our youngest son’s former room) that is rarely used and will definitely need its once-a-decade spruce up, including making up the bed and everything that goes with ensuring a space habitable. There are also sofa sleepers here and there should anyone require closer-to-the-bathroom quarters.

We have the beds, but no longer is the live-in maid service (me) able to get everything ship-shape, shopped-for and prepped – and confident to still be standing upright afterward.

There are late-morning sleepers and early-to-bed folks coming, so I have to be sure an area is set up for the sunrise people to drink their coffee without disturbing the snoozers and the same for the late-night chatterers to drink their whatever and visit without disturbing those tucked away in their jammies.

And the food. One person likes vegetables cooked, while another only eats them raw. Some like alcohol with dinner; some don’t. One or two like a big breakfast. Some live for dessert. I’ve tried to plan meals as accordingly as possible, and there’s now plenty of deli meat and cheese in the refrigerator for make-it-yourself-whenever-you-want-it.

Our son-in-law loves rhubarb, a culinary discovery for a Texas-raised boy, so I’ve made my old reliable rhubarb crisp and rhubarb muffins. For those who read my May 15 column about a failed rhubarb recipe, I revised and tried it a second time last week. Better, but still not a home run. It’s officially been retired from the lineup.

Of course there’s politics, too, to fret about. I don’t know a family anywhere that doesn’t have a MAGA branch and a progressive branch. Ours is no exception. We all pretty much know where we all stand and can find other things to talk about, but as the wine flows … who knows?

I’m just hoping for kindness should we wind up in the political swamp, and I have a couple of strategies in mind if it does get ugly. Of all the things I had to plan for in the past, this was not one of them – not that there hasn’t always been a Crazy Uncle Harry who mouths off about some verboten topic at the annual Thanksgiving table, but, happily, this particular group is pretty much nutso-free.

And the only person with an “uncle” title at the upcoming fete is my husband Bruce, a rational man who usually keeps his more controversial opinions to himself. But should he ever be tempted in a social setting, there’s this – as the noncook in our household, he appreciates what a cook’s strike will mean for his long-term survival.

It’s always good to have leverage.

Now that Bruce and I are among the elders in our extended families, I’m finding this hosting-planning-preparing-for task a whole lot more effort than it used to be.

I want everyone to be comfortable and at least a little bit catered to, but what I want even more right now is to go take a little nap before I tend to the next task.

It used to be so easy when I was young.

By the time these words appear in print, all visitors will have returned to their homes. I’m hoping it will have been a successful celebration and visit and that we all can’t wait to do it again.

If not, we have a lot of rhubarb to consume this week.

Voices correspondent Stefanie Pettit can be reached by email at upwindsailor@comcast.net