Front Porch: Ceslie’s first breaths are something to be grateful for

Thanksgiving: when we are thankful for the blessings of our lives.

I know of no more heartfelt thanks than those that are being given right now by my son-in-law Ryan’s mother, Ceslie Malloy, along with everyone who loves her.

Ces suffers from COPD, a debilitating lung disease, which has taken her from being a vivacious going-everywhere-and-doing-everything woman to one who is still vivacious inside, but much more restricted in movement and energy.

When our sons married in 2019, she flew from her home in Dallas to the wedding in Seattle, complete with scooter, portable oxygen equipment and a delightful husband, B.J., who saw to it that she could do everything at the wedding that everyone else did – including attending the ceremony, held on a boat on Lake Washington. And, parenthetically, I think Texas pretty much emptied itself of Ryan’s family members to come north with Ces for the wedding.

But things haven’t been going well with her COPD, and she was losing ground. She needed a new set of lungs if she was going to survive much longer. But it was hard for her and for B.J. to focus on themselves, largely because of so many other people they had and have been caring for.

The two of them are people who have always done for others. B.J.’s mother Bonnie (“Mimi”) had advanced dementia and lived with them for many years, until passing in July 2024. He took care of both his ladies, though getting everyone loaded into a car to go anywhere was quite the project. He retired early in order to be able to do that.

They both embody the meaning of Thanksgiving – not just the thanks part, but also the giving.

Earlier, Ces’ brother had lived in a camper on their property so they could monitor his care as he was succumbing to a terminal illness. Her own mother had been in a senior home down the block, so daily visits and oversight took place more easily. She had also managed the purchasing of groceries and other care needs for many years for the mother of her first husband (even post-divorce), who lived in a home for seniors. One of her children moved in with his children for some time when his marriage failed and he needed help.

It never occurred to them to do it otherwise.

It was just weeks after Mimi died, the first time in 20 years that they could turn their attention to just themselves, when Ces’ pulmonologist strongly suggested she consider the bilateral transplant. They decided to try to go for it.

It wasn’t easy. This fall, Ces finally qualified, after she had become part of a pulmonary rehab, gone through physical therapy, counseling, nutritional changes and all sorts of testing. She feels better overall, which she considers a gift already.

She has always been mindful that if the ultimate gift of donor lungs comes to her, it will be at the most devastating cost to another family. Additionally, if she is so fortunate and if the donor family gives permission, she wants very much to express her thanks and gratitude to them personally and would hope to learn about the life of the person who became her donor.

Here is the note she sent out to all family and friends only weeks ago, when she qualified to be a recipient, reprinted with her permission:

“It’s been nearly a year and a half, 14 blood draws, 78 trips to physicians and counting, care team of 20 different doctors, weight loss of 43 lbs., countless trip miles, parking valets downtown and more – and I am now a part of the United Network for Organ Sharing and ‘ON THE LIST’ for a pair of new lungs.

“My husband has been there every step of the way. Charging batteries for my portable oxygen tank, driving, pushing me, laundry – you name it, he has done everything. We have laughed. We have cried. We have been excited and we are now ready to go. All we have to do at this point is hurry up and wait!

“Our kids have been there to help him out on many trips to Rehab and just general errands, hoping to give him a little break. It’s a little hard to take me along anywhere without all the necessities, O2, batteries, etc., but they all make it seem very easy when I know it’s not.

“At this point, we are saying prayers for the phone to ring at any time and prayers for the donors at the same time. I will always realize this gift and never forget what it took to have two new lungs.”

Update

Not long after Ces agreed to let me write about her at Thanksgiving, she got “the call.” It came surprisingly quickly.

There was a donor match.

In less than 24 hours of that call, her 12-hour-long bilateral transplant surgery began. As had been planned in advance, she was put into a medically induced coma afterwards so her body could rest, and afterwards she was slowly and successfully brought out of it.

It’s still early days. There are still hurdles, but all is going well so far. We are all so very thankful.

Ceslie has started breathing with her new lungs.

Stefanie Pettit can be reached by email at upwindsailor@comcast.net.