Faith and Values: Online forums can create spaces for hatefulness to fester

There’s a profound statement in Chapter 6 of the “Rule of St. Benedict,” which I recently posted on social media: “Let us follow the Prophet’s counsel: ‘I said, I have resolved to keep watch over my ways that I may never sin with my tongue.

I have put a guard on my mouth. I was silent and was humbled, and I refrained even from good words (Ps 39:2-3).’ Here the Prophet indicates that there are times when good words are to be left unsaid out of esteem for silence.”

I grew up in an era when my parents taught me, “If you can’t say anything nice, keep quiet.” I raised my own sons to honor that ideal, as well (though, admittedly, they often forgot it).

These days, I’m not quite sure what has happened, but there is an awful lot of people – of all ages – spewing hate: verbally, online, in publications, etc.

While doing a bit of research for the book I’m writing, I came across a forum where people almost took pride in deriding the dwindling talents of a public personality. I could not believe what I was reading and thought to myself, “If any of them had to stand on stage before an audience of thousands and perform, as this person has done for decades, would they dare say such things?”

When criticism comes without consequence

It’s all too easy these days to spout criticism without the need to appreciate the talents or efforts of others. Case in point: the phenomenal work being done by Catholic vowed women religious to assist immigrants, house the poor, feed the hungry, care for the sick and aging – while they, themselves, are aging, many past the “accepted” retirement age and still going strong!

When they raise their voices to advocate for those with no voice, they are often shunned from the realms of government – unless given politicians see an advantage to their re-election or programs in having photos taken with these selfless proponents of social justice.

The lost art of encouragement

Where has kindness vanished in our modern era? Where has empathy for the plight of others, respect, admiration disappeared? If a musician hits a sour note during a concert, can it not be set aside because all the other songs sounded exceptional? Not these days, evidently.

Yet, I challenge anyone who has mocked someone for being less than perfect to pick up a guitar, sit at a piano, park themselves at a drum set and try to do what this musician has spent years learning to do!

If someone isn’t better at a given craft than the person so blatantly being lambasted, they should keep silent!

On a personal level, I remain in awe of those who are skilled at working with clay. The one class I flunked in high school was ceramics, because I couldn’t turn a pot on a potter’s wheel if my life depended on it.

Those who paint, draw, or sculpt will always be worthy of praise from me, whether the results of their creativity are abstract or readily identifiable as the railroad track and structure I recently viewed, painted by Bob Dylan.

A genuine sense of humility – as when a musician defers to the potential or demonstrated skill of another with the same instrument – is a reflection of personal faith, acknowledging the truth, “We have all received unique gifts, and should cherish how each one expresses them.”

Jumping on a computer to type nasty diatribes, or vocalizing negativity in public, serves no useful purpose. If anything – for those who think someone isn’t doing their best at their chosen profession – we should encourage each other to keep plugging away, continually striving for improvement.

Or, when push comes to shove, if nothing nice can be said, be silent!

Julie A. Ferraro is a communications professional who works extensively with Catholic religious communities. Originally from South Bend, Indiana, she is a mother and grandmother. She has been a journalist for more than 35 years and continues her studies of both Benedictine and Franciscan spirituality.