Jim, do you really want to kiss that vampire?
Just got out of “Van Helsing,” which I saw in Italian. Without English subtitles. Which probably didn’t hurt the experience much. Hugh Jackman looked great (in all his movies he has the standard “Capt. Kirk Take Off Your Shirt Clause,” which William Shatner created for the first “Star Trek Series).
But besides Jackman, director Stephen Sommers (both “The Mummy” movies) made sure that the action scenes were digitally exciting, that the vampires looked toothy enough and that things blew up really good. What more do you want from a summer film?
Look, I’m not saying that we have to do away with standards just because we’re forced to watch the stuff that Hollywood churns out for release between May and the end of July. But I am saying is that we can choose to judge summer films with a different set of standards than we do, say, “The Pianist.” Anyone who doesn’t might as well spend his or her time at home watching “Citizen Kane” until the disc melts (or until the meaning of “Rosebud” becomes clear). Me, I like to watch movies. All kinds of movies. So I choose to see movies such as “Van Helsing,” even in Italian without subtitles, and enjoy them for what they are.
In fact, the only real problem that I had with the film was that Asia Argento (remember her from “XXX”?) should have been cast as the female lead instead of the British femme Kate Beckinsale. Since Argento’s father is the great Italian filmmaker Dario Argento (“Suspiria”), she would have been right at home in a horror/action flick. At the very least, she’s native Italian and wouldn’t have had to have her dialogue dubbed for the movie that I saw.
Not that I would have understood it any better. My Italian is, no surprise, molto brutto. Good thing that the meaning of “Van Helsing” was easy to grasp. Easier to understand, certainly, than how William Shatner ever came to have an actual film career, shirt off or on.
* This story was originally published as a post from the blog "Spokane 7." Read all stories from this blog