Earth Day Eve Ranking of the Planets

9. Venus: What has anybody on Venus ever done for you?

8. Saturn: Still getting by on her looks.

7. Mars: Eventually it comes down to one question: Why would we want to go there?

6. Mercury: Don’t buy that “But it’s a dry heat” baloney.

5. Pluto: Was discovered by a guy who grew up on a farm in Kansas.

4. Uranus: Amusing third graders for generations.

3. Neptune: All other considerations aside, it’s a great name.

2. Jupiter: Large and in charge.

1. Earth: Best little kids and wildlife in the solar system.