The Slice: Now that’s a good tire

A friend made a puzzling discovery while reading the newspaper Thursday morning. “It appears that if you just don’t have the energy to gripe, all you need to do is buy a set of tires,” she wrote.

Let me explain.

A prominent advertisement from a Spokane tire dealership mentioned “tire siping,” small incisions that are thought to improve traction.

The ad said siping provides additional “griping power.”

To add emphasis, those two words were inside quote marks in the ad.

“Griping power.”

Now, in all likelihood, the intention was to say “gripping power.” But the misspelling amused my correspondent. “Had I only known all I needed to do was buy a set of tires when I was too tired to gripe,” she wrote.

Who knows, though. Winter driving was one of the ad’s themes. And we all know how much fun it is to maneuver a car on snow and ice. So maybe “gripe” is what the tire dealer really did have in mind.

Just how siping would help in that regard isn’t immediately clear to me. But maybe you need to visit the tire store to get the whole story.

So go ahead and tell the guy behind the counter that you’re shopping for some tires that will help you gripe about cold-weather driving.

“I’m not messing around this winter,” you can tell the tire guy. “I want something that will really let me fuss and fume about road conditions and other drivers. I need real griping power.”

I’m sure the dealer will be able to help.

Tell him The Slice sent you.

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Those “What to do in case of a bomb blast” drills at school did little to ease his mind.

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