The Slice: Friday night’s alright for lounging

We’ve all heard the allegation: Spokane is a boring place populated by boring people. Obviously, that’s a ridiculously broad generalization. But I have a theory about why this unfair rap persists.

It’s the Friday night swoon.

I think a lot of people here are so tired by the time they get home from work on Friday that conking out on the couch in front of the TV seems more appealing than changing clothes and heading back out to see a show or listen to live music.

Hey, it’s hard to be Mr. or Miss Excitement when you’re dead on your feet.

Let me explain. When the weather is sunny and the days are long, lots of Inland Northwesterners aren’t exactly workaholics. Face it. You know it’s true.

But at this time of year, people here tend to work hard. They start early and stay late. (I believe productivity experts will back me up on this.)

Naturally, one result of this is a gradually building sleep deficit.

Early in the week, not getting enough rest can be shrugged off. But on Friday, the hammer comes down. All that missed sleep catches up with you. And even a vital, interesting person can be made to seem, well, boring.

OK, the Friday night swoon tends to hit people of a certain age harder than, say, twentysomethings. And that contributes to the widely held belief among young people that Spokane residents over the age of 35 put away their dancing shoes and are never heard from again.

Actually, some of those people would love to go out and make the scene on Friday night. But they are otherwise engaged with a full schedule of snoring, drooling and dropping the remote onto the floor.

All right, the Friday night swoon is not the only reason Spokane’s cultural vibe isn’t often likened to high-voltage electricity. But I think it partly explains why Saturday morning activities such as shopping at home-supply stores are so popular here.

What a difference a day makes. The magic is called a good night’s sleep.

“Warm-up questions: How upset would you be if you were about to enjoy a piece of chocolate cake or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and discovered there was no milk? How many Spokane area businesses that once offered military discounts no longer do so? In what ways are your channel-surfing linger choices different when you are alone? Do you have a good-luck T-shirt? Which has the better bodies: The Oscars or the Winter Olympics? Out of all the Rochesters, Eries, Fort Waynes, Toledos, Shreveports, Little Rocks, Duluths, et cetera, which American city has a downtown skyline that most reminds you of Spokane’s?

“Today’s Slice question: If your real life was the inspiration for a set-in-Spokane romance novel, what would the book be called?

(Yes, I asked a similar question eight years ago. But I still dream of answers along the lines of “The Scarlet Mommy,” “Queen of Costco,” “Forbidden Lake,” “Naked Came the Stratolounger,” “Palouse Woman,” “If the RV’s Rockin’,” “Torrid Tent,” “Pastor Prime” or “Love and Lentils.”)