The Slice: Flock of seagulls made her run, run so far away

We have a contender for the title “Family of the Year.”

Here’s the nomination.

“My wife and I went to Coeur d’Alene for the afternoon,” wrote Scott Griffith. (Slice readers might remember him as the hero in the February 2005 story of the missing bassoon.) “We were enjoying the sunshine, sitting on the concrete retaining wall overlooking the city beach. We observed a peaceful scene — a woman sitting in a beach chair reading, kids playing in the water. You know the scene.”

The tranquility did not last.

“Along comes a family (dad, mom, three boys) carrying seven or eight loaves of bread and the biggest, meanest water cannons we have ever seen.

“The family proceeds to throw pieces of bread over the head of the woman in the beach chair, attracting 100 or so seagulls.”

How considerate.

The beach chair woman closed her book and fled the scene.

But the Family of the Year wasn’t done with their festival of idiocy. They proceeded to blast away at the birds with their industrial-strength squirt guns.

“The flock would disperse only to be attracted back to the bread,” wrote Griffith.

Then the gulls would get knocked silly again.

Tormenting animals — what fun!

“The dad was blasting the birds with as much enthusiasm as the kids.”

“On the other hand, there are some high-functioning brains out there: Betty Schwisow lives on a farm about 12 miles outside Ritzville.

She has a tailless 4-year-old cat named Josie who is smarter than the average feline. “She can open the sliding glass door to let herself out, even if the door is locked.”

Schwisow offered to provide a list of witnesses. Not surprisingly, she said people tend to be amazed by the feat.

Josie somehow figured out how to work the lock. So she jumps up and manipulates the mechanism.

Then she gets down and simply pulls the door open.

Schwisow said the tortoise-shell short-hair isn’t selfish about her skill. “She is now opening the door to let the dog and other cat in.”

Too bad Josie can’t be put in charge of raising those water-cannon kids.

“Just wondering: Can you watch an old movie or TV show featuring actor Albert Salmi without thinking about his sad death in Spokane in 1990?

“Slice answer: Spokane’s Grant Lundin reported that he is a member of 18 different clubs, organizations and associations.

“For the record: A state prison inmate wrote to say that some S-R subscribers do, in fact, read the whole paper. “I have quite a bit of free time,” he said.

He’s not counting the classifieds.

“Today’s Slice question: What are going to be your Second Half of the Year’s Resolutions?