The Slice: Tip a cold one to our local media

The Slice would not want to encourage irresponsible consumption of alcohol.

Obviously. But a decent drinking game could be based on watching Spokane TV news shows and tossing back an adult beverage upon hearing the words “reporting to you live.”

And maybe it could be two swigs when, as is usually the case, there’s nothing actually happening at the site of the live report.

So what would be the rules of a drinking game based on perusing the S-R?

“Dances with absurdity: “If cities were named in the Sioux Indian fashion, such as ‘Stands With a Fist’ or ‘Wind in His Hair,’ what would Spokane-area cities’ names be?” wondered Greg Lloyd of Spokane Valley. “For Spokane, I propose ‘Bungee Cord on the Road.’ “

Or how about “Particulates in Their Lungs,” “Laughs at Sign Code” or “Sitting Bull.”

Oh, wait. That last one was a chief’s name. Of course, that “Bull” was a reference to an animal.

OK, your turn.

“Yoga or tai chi positions suggested by observing napping day-care kids downtown: 1. Drooling lotus. 2. Butt in the air dragon. 3. Serene thumb-sucker. 4. Slack-jawed dreamer. 5. Conked-out crocus.

“Just wondering: Do the people with whom you work ever actually talk about anything pertaining to the business?

“More songs for a “Spokane” album: Here are half a dozen from a reader named Annie:

“Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” by the Temptations. “Gimme Shelter” by the Rolling Stones. “Get a Job” by the Silhouettes. “Great Balls of Fire” by Jerry Lee Lewis. “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” by the Platters. “Run for Your Life” by the Beatles.

And I said I would share my list. So here goes:

“People are Strange” by the Doors. “Go Insane” by Lindsey Buckingham. “The Ghost in You” by the Psychedelic Furs. “Stop Making Sense” by the Talking Heads. “Backstreets” by Bruce Springsteen. “Wasn’t Born to Follow” by the Byrds. “Lawyers in Love” by Jackson Browne. “Cold Hard Facts of Life” by Porter Wagoner. “If Trouble was Money” by Albert Collins. “Our House” by CSN&Y.

“Slice answer: “Everyone should be rooting against the Yankees,” wrote Cindy Christensen. “I sure am. Even my 9-year-old daughter knows to root against them.”

“Warm-up question: How do you feel about co-workers trying to sell you stuff that their kids are supposed to be peddling for yet another in an endless series of school/church/band/sports fundraisers?

“Today’s Slice question (finish this sentence): “I was happy enough about moving here, but I don’t remember signing up for …”