The Slice: Hopefully they get Spokane right

It’s not a hanging offense.

But newcomers to the Inland Northwest almost invariably mispronounce at least a few local place names.

You know, Latah, Manito, Kootenai, Pend Oreille, Moscow, Tekoa, Tensed, Chewelah, St. Maries, Ione and so on. The list of possible verbal stumbles is long.

So what do you do when you hear a newcomer botch one? After all, some people don’t like being corrected about anything.

What has worked for me is to quietly say, “Most pronounce it oka-noggin.”

“Cheers: When I suggested last Thursday that readers could use the Internet to research defunct beer brands, Brian Cornelius scoffed.

He didn’t need to go online. The Colfax home brewer could just consult his collection of vintage bottles.

Here are a few beers that were brewed (not always exclusively) at one time or another in Spokane: Hieber’s Old Fashioned, Gilt Top, Golden Age Royal Select, Inland Pride, Bohemian Club Kloster, Rainier Diamond Draft, Goetz Silver Strike, Schade, Galland Burke’s Export, Henco Brewery Genuine Lager, Durst, New Style Pilsner Brew.

“Speaking of beer: One of my fondest moments as your Slice host was listening to my phone mail after about 100 readers performed their renditions of the old Hamm’s beer jingle.

From the land of sky blue waters

Wahhhhters…

Good times.

So let’s do it again.

I’ll send a coveted reporter’s notebook to the reader doing the best job of performing all or part of the jingle or buzz phrase from any other old-timey beer commercial. Carling Black Label, Blatz, Ballantine, you name it.

Look for the results Tuesday.

“Today’s Spokane-ized threat: “Don’t make me go marmot on your (fill in the blank).” — Kelly Reinlasoder, Cheney

“Slice answer: Jacqueline Volz saw the question about workplace partners seemingly joined at the hip.

Her answer isn’t exactly what I was going for, but it does manage to shed light on the human condition.

“I have a friend who once introduced our team of school counselors, Shelly and Kit, to a large group of parents. She committed an embarrassing spoonerism while doing so, much to the amusement of the parents. Quite an icebreaker for the meeting.”

“True or false: The Inlander’s “Best of” thing is a crock.

“Today’s Slice questions: Do you ever receive e-mails that are intended for someone with an address similar to yours? Have these messages provided you with enough information to draw up a personality profile of the intended recipient?