The Slice: You’ll feel super after wasp sting

Let’s get right to it.

Today’s Slice question: If you were stung by one of those radioactive Hanford wasps, what superpowers might you acquire?

A) The ability to know when pants don’t fit.

B) Super apathy.

C) The ability to sit calmly and quietly when a TV news youth says “Reporting to you live” from a location where something happened 10 hours ago.

D) You would suddenly be capable of getting in an elevator at River Park Square and figuring out which floor you want.

E) You could make tattoos disappear at Hoopfest.

F) Super flossing.

G) The ability to know 30 seconds in advance that a baby is about to need a fresh diaper.

H) The power to write a letter to the editor that acknowledges shades of gray.

I) The ability to drive a little slower.

J) The ability to magically neuter pets owned by irresponsible morons.

K) The ability to magically neuter irresponsible morons.

L) The ability to lose 5 pounds.

M) Super huckleberry finding.

N) Super stone skipping.

O) The power to summon the wind when sailing.

P) The ability to converse with crows, teenagers and Montanans.

Q) The ability to not act like an idiot around that one woman from accounting.

R) Super patience.

S) The ability to make a Wiffle Ball break 3 feet.

T) Super putting.

U) The ability to make shaving cuts disappear.

V) The ability to know when burgers are done.

W) The power to predict which checkout lane will move fastest.

X) The ability to remember names.

Y) Your uncanny waspy sense would tip you off whenever something unusual was about to happen in Spokane.

Z) Other.