The “Marriage Go-Round”

Americans are more likely to get married, divorced and remarried compared to people in other Western countries, statistics show. We also have more live-in partners. But when a relationship sours, we quickly bail.

“We step on and off the carousel of marriages and partnerships faster than anywhere else,” according to Andrew J. Cherlin, author of the new book, “The Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today.”

This can sometimes pose a problem for the kids, Cherlin said in an interview with Random House, Inc.

“American children face much more movement of parents and parent-figures in and out of their households than do children anywhere else. … Most children can cope with this much movement of people in and out of their homes, but some of them can’t. They show more behavior problems, such as being disobedient or, for older children, skipping school. … the lack of stability, the number of transitions they have to adjust to, may not be good for kids. I would guess that children who live with a single parent who quickly re-partners but soon ends the partnership are often worse off than children who live with a single parent who remains single.”

This tendency to marry, break up and marry again has a lot to do with our culture, Cherlin said. Americans believe in two conflicting ideals: We believe in the institution of marriage but we also want personal fulfillment as individuals. People in other countries, he said, make one or the other a priority, but not both.

Instead of promoting marriage, Americans should devote their time making sure that children receive stable caregiving, he said. He also advises people to “slow down” and not rush into parenthood.

What are your thoughts on the state of marriage and its effects on children in America?