All that and a bag of candy

Because some days everything is NOT all right … but it might seem better if you can find something to make you smile about it:

II found this “Life is Crap” cup during my inaugural visit to Halpin’s, one of the Valley’s hidden treasures. OK, really – sitting prominently on the corner of Bowdish and Sprague with a sign that can be seen from space without a telescope – it’s not all that hidden … I’d simply never before taken the time to stop in. I’d heard the place mentioned in conversation. I’d driven past it at least 1,037 times. But last week I stopped a lady to ask her where she’d gotten her purse – a strappy black bag weaved from seat belts, very cool – and she said “Halpin’s.” That did it. It was time for a visit.

Saturday morning I dropped Kegan off at Driver’s Ed (heaven help us) and walked across the street. An hour later the hubby called to check on my whereabouts … I’d planned to head right home after the drop-off to work in the yard … and I told him I’d stopped in at Halpin’s. “Oh, yeah,” he said, “See you in a few hours.” “What? How did you know? You’ve been here before?” “Sure. Everyone’s been there. It’s kind of one of those places where everybody goes.” “Yeah, well, this is my first time. Thanks for the head’s up, guy.” And with that I headed to yet another unexplored corner to while away the better part of another hour. Still I felt like I didn’t see everything. So, of course, I’ll go back.

And, since I know I can’t be the ONLY one in town to be late to the “that’s where everybody goes” party, let me fill you in on the things you might find in this place.

• Fake little dogs and cats that look so real you’ll do a double-take (to up the authentic factor these cute critters even “breathe,” thanks to a motor or something that moves in their belly and practically startles the holy crap out of you)
• A Spokandy counter (take two, they’re small)
• A full-service pharmacy that includes several isles of “incidentals” (don’t forget the dust-mop socks!)
• An entire room dedicated to dedicated collectors, with everything from large Thomas Kinkade paintings to tiny hand-painted designer shoes (can a girl ever get enough)
• A bunch of grandfather clocks and globes (time to leave … where you headed?)
• A place to buy Lottery tickets (ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky?)
• Two huge tables covered in snow village stuff, replete with lights and sounds (grandmothers everywhere will swoon)
• A life-sized chreche (please don’t allow your children to ride the donkey)
• An impressive selection of WSU, Gonzaga, Seahawks and other sport memorabilia (mostly local, yes, even UW)
• Aisles and aisles of Hallmark cards (why, yes, as a matter of fact I do understand why women tear up in greeting card aisles)
• Garden stuff, like designer watering cans, birdhouses made from coffee cans and rope light pink flamingos (I dare you not to smile when you see this …)
• Handmade beaded jewelry (from cute to what-did-I-do-to-deserve-this?)
• Holiday decorations – all their Halloween stuff was 40% off on Saturday; they also had a couple aisles of Thanksgiving paraphernalia and were overloading the store with all things Christmas (fell in love with the gumdrop-covered snowball ornaments)
• Hand-painted martini and wine glasses that say things like “Princess” (only when I drink); “Diva” (only when I’m drunk); and “Over the Hill” (only the morning after)
• Stuffed animals, including sock monkeys (updated with subdued rainbow hues … endearingly sweet)
• Candles and more candles (soy, organic, wickless, you name it)
• A huge display of Vera Bradley handbags and backpacks and such (never seen these before but they seem to be quite a hit … a little too “quilty” for me, but I know a few ladies who’d love ‘em)
• Anything else you can possibly think of (as long as you’re not thinking of ground beef, lava or snow tires)