Maybe I’ll tri again next year, then again …

Never mind the humiliatingly public Facebook announcement I made in August telling everyone within my network (and all 7 million of their friends) that 2010 was going to be the year I finally got off my keister and did something about this niggling need to swim, bike and pedal my way to a whole new me via the Valley Girl Triathlon.

When a friend sent out a reminder message last night at 7:30 that race registration started at 12:01 this morning, I was halfway through a bottle of cheap red, and, frankly, just sozzled enough to sidestep my promise of kicking ass come Sunday July 11, 2010.

And so began a very rational ticking off of reasons why my non-participation was better for everyone: 1.) No need for Spandex…  2.) My trick knee can rest easy without worrying it might blow mid-stride and cause a scene…  3.) Countless innocent men, women and children will be spared the indelible vision of me trying to pull, prod and pray my way into a wetsuit… 4.) The doddering garage sale gem of a bicycle that’s been taking up space in the garden shed can enjoy yet another season of leisure… 5.) I can put all the energy I would have spent getting this bod into shape on more important things. Like eating ice cream and drinking beer.

The morning brought a clearer head than one might think (the bottle was empty by 9) so I logged on to the Valley Girl site ‘round about sunup, hoping to redeem myself before anyone had the time to notice I’d totally pussed out. Yeah, no dice. As of 1:10 this morning (count ‘em, only 69 minutes) all 550 race spots had been filled. Seriously. Apparently triathletes start paying attention to things like time and dedication far before the starting gun blows. Who knew?