No ‘Salvation’ for this ‘Terminator’

Some critics didn’t like “Cloverfield.” More than one review railed about the how glad they were whenever one of the 20-something characters ate the big one.

But what producer J.J. Abrams , along with writer Drew Goddard and director Matt Reeves, was able to do was meld classic sci-fi horror with a good look at that very 20-something existence of today.

What Abrams is doing is actively reinventing anything he touches, from the television show “Lost” to the latest “Star Trek.” In fact, his version of Kirk and Co. may be the most relevant ever made.

You can’t say the same thing about “Terminator Salvation,” which in McG’s hands is just another derivative joy ride through a tired old story. When the fourth film in a series isn’t half as intentive as the second, you know something’s going in the wrong direction.

Here’s a list of my Top 10 Problems with what McG has given us (with the help of writers John D. Brancato and Michael Ferris):

1. I said derivative, as in using truck-racing sequences similar to “The Road Warrior,” a few references to “Aliens” and even some flight scenes out of “Independence Day.”

2. What’s up with Christian Bale’s voice? Did doing that Batman growl make him permanently guttural?

3. Time-travel tales cover any and all plot problems.

4. Whatever happened to the indestructible T-1000 Terminator ? Oh, yeah, “Terminator Salvation” happens before “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” was invented. Which is just freaky when you think about it.

5. Why don’t the Terminators take Scott Evil ’s advice, delivered in “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”: “If you’ve got a time machine, why don’t you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he’s sitting on the crapper or something?” No, the Terminators just toss John Conner here and there, refusing to put a bullet in his head.

6. Did I mention Christian Bale’s rocks-in-his-throat vocal stylings?

7. Wait, let’s jump into the wormhole Stargate and start all over.

8. Did anyone notice Tyler Perry in the hostage scene? No? Neither did I. Forget I said anything.

9. Can you believe the shots that Trey Parker and Matt Stone took at Disney in the season opener? Are those guys suicidal … or what?

10. There, that makes 10.

So anyway, “Terminator Salvation” is decent entertainment. The EFX are pretty good, and this guy Sam Worthington is a good find, oi! It’s just that it’s nothing new, nothing fresh, just some of the same-old, same-old.

And John Conner. Well, obviously he’ll be back.

Below: The trailer from the second and best “Terminator.”