Annie, you’re just fine.

At the office today we were talking about CPR. We were wondering if it’s still common practice to go for full-on mouth-to-mouth or if it’s just as effective to just keep pumping on the chest until professional help arrives.

At home tonight I looked it up on YouTube (an oft-overlooked medical reference source). Turns out unless you’re under 8, in respiratory distress or a member of one other high-risk group that I can’t remember at the moment, the continuous chest compression method is A-OK.

The video I watched featured two doctors demonstrating on a torso-only dummy. Seeing them shake the “patient” gave me flashbacks of high school health class, and that all-important question you were required to ask before setting about saving someone’s life: “Annie, Annie, are you OK?”

And out of nowhere, the lyrics of Smooth Criminal popped into my head and I was like, “Hey … wait a minute …” And then I was like, “Nah. That song has to be about something other than hovering over a dummy, asking if she’s going to be all right.” And then I was watching the 10-ish minute movie/video (also on YouTube, an oft-overlooked musical history source), and about three minutes into the song I hear “Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, sounding heartbeats, intimidation …” And I’m all like, “Holy crap! It is about CPR!”

And it only took me 20ish years to make the connection.

Also, what the hell is that Thriller-meets-Erotica interlude in the middle of the video all about?