Missed a spot

It has come to my attention that some Spokane area moms and dads are falling down on the job when it comes to one key aspect of parenting.

I’m referring, of course, to a gross and widespread failure to properly scrutinize the job a son or daughter did of washing the family truckster. This is something parents of previous generations had down pat. But I’m hearing troubling reports that today’s mothers and fathers have gone soft.

So let’s review the basics.

After issuing long and borderline snappish instructions — punctuated with “Are you listening to me?” — here’s what you need to do when the kid declares the job finished.

1. Before you even start looking at the vehicle, adopt a scrunched up, dyspeptic expression.

2. Early on during your walk-around inspection ask, “Did you use the soap I gave you?”

3. Ask, “Did you use water?”

4. Say, “You understood, didn’t you, that I wanted you to wash the whole exterior?”

5. Take your glasses off and rub your eyes as if in the throes of a mighty headache.

6. Sigh and mutter.

7. Say, “Did you imagine that I would regard the job you’ve done here with favor?”

8. Take your ballcap off and scratch the top of your head.

9. Say, “So I take it you are in a hurry to go meet your friends or something?”

10. Launch the big talk about applying oneself and how seemingly small things can determine whether you experience success in life.