Movie news and a grammar lesson

Not everybody appreciates the art of the pun. Take the headline to IMDB’s weekend box-office report : ” ‘Apes’ cling to top spot, ‘Help’ cleans up.’ ”

Here’s one comment, which I typed exactly as posted on the site: “Why do they always have to resort to stupid puns when announcing the weekend box office? I can do it too. Final Destination 5 destined to be a flop. 30 Minutes of Less fails to deliver. Glee’s weekend gross nothing to sing about. That’s just lazy writing and it sounds so stupid.”

OK, stupid is, at least in this case, a matter of personal taste. I like puns . But the guy who wrote the comment, Jamie Taylor from West Monroe, La., doesn’t quite get it. His first example is a cheat beause it merely uses a variation of the key word (destination, detined). His second example doesn’t really make sense unless you know that the movie protagonist is a pizza-delivery guy — and why would you? His third is decent and would fit right into IMDB’s format.

I have other complaints about IMDB’s headline. One, involves the verb in the first clause: ” ‘Apes’ cling to top spot …” In this sense, “Apes” refers to the movie, which is singular. So the correct head should be ” ‘Apes’ clings to top spot …” My other complaint involves headline writing style: Instead of a comma, the correct punctuation separating the two clauses should be a semicolon: ” ‘Apes’ clings to top spot; ‘Help’ cleans up.”

But pay no attention. During the 30-plus years that I wrote for newspapers, I attracted the attention of many members of the Grammar Police. Much of it was accurate. Much of it still is.