At least the kids are OK

I’ve found myself of late trying to explain why have no use for the Oscar-nominated film “The Kids Are All Right.” That’s why I’ve decided to reprint the review of the film that I wrote for Spokane Public Radio :

Lisa Cholodenko’s movie “The Kids Are All Right” is, in its most basic sense, a story of family. But we’re not talking about just ANY traditional family. Nic (Annette Bening) is a physician who lives with her longtime partner, Jules (Julianne Moore), and their two children, Joni (Mia Washikowsky) and Laser (Josh Hutcherson). That, more or less, IS a 21 ^st -century family situation. What makes THESE particular circumstances unusual is that both children, Joni born to Nic, Laser to Jules, were spawned by the same sperm donor — making them half-siblings, children to a father they have never known.

But that all changes one day when 15-year-old Laser asks his 18-year-old, college-bound sister to help him track down their dad. After an initial reluctance, she agrees. And so brother and sister find themselves having lunch with Paul (Mark Ruffalo), a restaurant owner and self-described “doer” — as opposed, one suspects, to “thinker.”

Pretty soon the moms find out and, after an uncomfortable family debate, Paul is invited to visit, which reveals a layer of simmering emotion already close to boiling over because of Joni’s forthcoming departure. The troubles our family unit faces comprise the usual laundry list endured by any close-knit group confronted by the inevitability of big change — though I’m not sure all groups have to deal with the specter of adultery. The family does suffer through, but it does so in a way that is, at once, both familiar and NOT completely satisfying.

Because as true as that title might be — the kids in this film are amazingly all right — the adults are not. Not Nic, whose controlling nature is exacerbated every time she pops open another bottle of petit sirah. Not Jules, whose diffidence leads her continually to overcompensate for what she HASN’T managed to accomplish in her domestic life. And certainly not Paul, whose cluelessness about the complexity of relationships exists hand in hand with his, yes, inherent decency.

The main problem with “The Kids Are All Right” is that along with its decent performances, especially those put in by Washikowsky and Hutcherson, the movie follows a plot line that never seems to settle on anything. What, in the end, is the film about? The difficulties of marriage? The heartbreak caused by the necessary disintegration of nuclear families, no matter how unusual the makeup? The need for children to find their own ways in the world, even a world formed by adults who are lost in their own individual melodramas? It’s hard to say.

And — it’s important to add — Cholodenko opts to meander toward an ending that puts an unfair onus on Paul and too much importance on the child who, ultimately, gets away.

What most of us over the age of consent have come to realize is that life DOES endure, no matter how messy it gets. Partners come and go, everyone makes mistakes, love surely DOES mean having to say you’re sorry — and MEANING it — and sometimes just sticking with someone is the only workable answer. Except, of course, when it’s not.

Now I admit, “The Kids Are All Right” could be, and probably IS, saying all that. I just wish the film could have expressed it a bit more clearly.

Below : The trailer for “The Kids Are All Right.”