They seem like an awesome idea, until …

For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to find a pair of footie pajamas that’d fit grown-up me. Lord knows, thanks to brutal Butte winters, I spent loads of time in my own pint-sized getups. Over the years I’ve maneuvered plenty of little hands and tiny feet into the warm snuggly outfits, coveting the cozy cocoon factor all the while. And every year when the mercury drops I tease that I might be able to give up my sacred electric blanket, if only I could find a pair of big-kid pjs that offered a head-to-toe warming factor.

Yesterday, I found them: black and pink and covered in Hello Kitty heads, complete with rubber-nubs on the feet! I tried them on, and Hello Kitty helped me kiss the dream goodbye.

As soon as I was completely ensconced in the high-static-factor fleece, I got all sweaty and started to panic. What if I have to pee? I’d have to unzip the suit to at least mid-thigh, pull my arms out, expose my entire upper body to frigid turn-down-the-thermostat-at-night-temperatures, most likely drop a sleeve in the toilet, then risk catching belly (or worse) skin on the upzip.

Forget it. Until I’m at a point in my life where I once again spend all night in a diaper, I’ll just keep that blanket cranked to 10.

But, if you’re into this sort of thing, you can find yourself a pair at Fred Meyer … they’re even on sale for 60% off!!!