For those of us who resolved to gain weight this year …

My friend Chelsea and I sat ourselves down at a Steelhead Bar & Grille two-top Monday night and proceeded to make an evening of lively conversation, lovely wine and lots of food. The first two items in this trifecta of fun were easy … especially since the two feed off each other.

But I’d walked in craving soup and salad, and was thrown off course when I learned their soup du jour was Gumbo. For those of you who don’t already know this, I have serious texture issues, and okra is a crime against nature.

So it was back to the menu for me and I quickly realized I was in one of those “too hungry to focus” moods. After a few moments of grumbling indecision, Chelsea jumped in to speed things along.

“How about salad and bread?”

“Can’t do bread.”

“What? Why not?”

“I think it’s because I’m getting old. One bite of delicious, yeasty, chewy bread and I inflate like a puffer fish.”

“Eeeewww. The kebobs are really good.”

“Eh, not feeling the whole veggie and rice vibe tonight.”

At this point our server took pity on us and placed a steaming plate of Bleu Cheese Fries on the table. OK, actually, he placed a plate of crispy hot fries, sprinkled with chunks of bacon and sliced scallions in front of us. Chelsea’s not a cheese fan, so I claimed the ramekin of Bleu cheese crumbles for myself. (Yeeps, are we sounding like the high-maintenance table or what?)

Seriously, the cheese and fries should have been my dinner but then Chelsea reminded me of just how much I loved the cheesy garlic potatoes I’d had on my last Steelhead visit, and this sent me back to the menu.

By the time our server returned to take our order, I blurted out the first thing my eye landed on: The Brewster Chicken Sandwich, and then I promptly dismissed the menu. Because “too hungry to focus” equals “hungry enough to obsess.”

Before long I found myself face-to-face with a pile of pesto-marinated grilled chicken … stuffed into a mini loaf of yeasty, chewy, deliciously crispy French bread that was smothered in bubbling layers of cheese.

“Well, hell. Can’t NOT do bread.”

Just call me Bloat.

You can find Steelhead Bar & Grille downtown, at 218 N. Howard Street.