The fate of the early jack-o’-lanterns?

A) They will have turned into Salvador Dali clocks before Halloween. B) Maybe they’ll make it, if the temps stay cool. C) Remember Dustin Hoffman’s character in “Little Big Man,” when he was made up to look like he was 120 years old? Well, picture that. D) Depends on whether they have signed one of those “No extraordinary measures” directives. E) Grabbed by young vandals. Whereabouts unknown. F) Other.