Possible reasons to watch the Oscars

A) Cleavage. B) Trying to guess who/what will most freak out red state conservatives. C) Film clips. D) The chance to learn of a documentary you might not have known about. E) Lots of talk about dresses. F) Watching the losers show that they really can act. G) Cleavage. H) The chance to be reminded that though you have long thought your own industry is incredibly self-congratulatory, it can’t really hold a candle to the wonderful folks saving the world through motion pictures. I) Cleavage. J) That rare well-done acceptance speech. K) Chance to see the latest in plastic surgery. L) Other.