Underachieving newspaper headlines

If you spend much time online, you might have seen these.

“Illiteracy an obstable, study finds”

“Man with 8 DUIs blames drinking problem”

“Republicans turned off by size of Obama’s package”

“Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25”

“Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons”

“Homeless survive winter: Now what?”

“Homicide victims rarely talk to police”

“City unsure why the sewer smells”

“Man accused of killing lawyer receives a new attorney”

By the way, none of those is from The Onion.