The Slice: The Slice: The difference between livestock and pets

Gary Polser saw Monday’s question about dispatching poultry.

“I remember when I was a young boy, my mom would butcher the chickens we grew. We lived in California and had grape vines. She would take a chicken and put a broom stick on its neck and grab the legs and pull. The head would come off and the chicken would be thrown into the grapevines. I remember the carcass leaping over the grapes until it realized it was dead. I am not sure that is a good memory.”

(I’ll be accepting complaints about this subject matter from vegetarians only. Thank you.)

Baldness feedback, No. 3: “I’m losing my hair,” wrote a Slice reader who asked that I keep his name to myself. “Have been for quite a while. No comb-over! Just living with it. But here’s my question for you. Have you noticed that there seems to be a rule that the more bald a guy is, the more likely he is to sport a goatee? And that curiosity is even more pronounced the more rotund the face. If you have not noticed this phenomenon, I now defy you not to notice. I myself despise goatees. I think they look good on about 2 percent of the men who wear them.”

Bruce Werner is another who read last Sunday’s Slice dealing with hair loss. He added this.

“You forgot to mention those clueless souls who wear toupees that look like they have a deceased marmot on their heads.”

Reader challenge answer: Here is the “Mondays” song lyric Cindy Matthews tweaked. It’s from a tune by The Carpenters.

Rainy days and potholes always get me down.

Advertisements for myself: Got a note from a friend, retired kindergarten teacher Miriam Ritchey.

“Recently my husband asked me to pass a section of the Spokesman to him. What with the changes in the section titles lately we had some problems figuring out which section he wanted. Finally he said, ‘Just give me the section with Turner’s column in it.’ So, henceforth, in our house, the section with your column in it will be referred to as ‘The Turner Section.’ Just thought you’d like to know.”

I like that. Sort of sounds like the name of a movie. You know, “The Eiger Sanction,” “The Bourne Identity,” “The Ipcress File” or “The Turner Section.”

Just imagine the trailer. “Get ready to turn the page. This time, it’s personal.”

Today’s Slice question: What if we simply adjusted our schedules and left the clocks alone?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. “No Skunks!” signs are not all that effective.