Huckleberries: When a hornet comes calling, you can count life in Nana-seconds

At 77, Cis Gors, of Kootenai, Idaho, discovered she can still move quickly, like, for example, when a hornet crawls up her pant leg and begins to sting.

How fast did Cis get from the yard to the house to strip off her pants and shoes last week?

“Nanoseconds,” according to her Facebook page. Cis says she then rubbed some Vicks on the 2 owies – and, voila, the pain was gone. Cis can’t explain why she opted for the Vicks, other than “it sounded good at the time.” In the old days, when she smoked, she’d slap tobacco on the stings.

Facebook friend David Keyes, of Sandpoint, offered levity in a follow-up comment, suggesting that Cis edit the speed that took her from the yard to the house to “Nana-seconds.”

After all, she is a grandma 20 times over.

Perspective

You may not remember the day that Yvonne Wallis of Bayview and her family were assaulted in her mobile home by a crazed neighbor with a hammer. But Connie Anderson of Coeur d’Alene does.

“Very clearly,” she tells Huckleberries.

On Dec. 19, 2010, Connie was recovering from a burst appendix at what was then called Kootenai Medical Center. She was quarantined because she had waited too long to get help after her appendix burst, triggering an infection.

“I was feeling sorry for myself,” Connie says. “I remember hearing the sound of sirens. Not long afterward, there was an announcement that all cleaning personnel were to report to the emergency room.”

Connie knew something tragic had happened. She realized that others were suffering more than she was. And some, like Yvonne, who would continue to suffer. That gave Connie perspective on her own troubles – a perspective we all should have.

Huckleberries

Poet’s Corner: On May 2, 2011, terrorist Osama bin Laden went to sleep with the fishes. Two days later, the late Tom Wobker published this poem in Huckleberries: “He lived by the sword and/earned what he got —/Osama Bin Laden/bin very much shot” – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“Bin A Long Wait”) … More #stuffmystudentssay from Coeur d’Alene High instructor Bruce Twitchell: “I asked an exchange student from Brazil what the English classes were like. Her: ‘We don’t have English classes there.’ Bruce: ‘Oh, how did you learn English then?’ Her: ‘Watching Netflix.’ ” … Redux: Twenty-five years ago, then Shoshone County Sheriff Frank Crnkovich was fighting for his political life against corruption charges stemming from the 1991 FBI bust of illegal gambling in the Silver Valley. A Huckleberries one-liner at the time read: “Some Wallace bar patrons are referring to embattled Shoshone County Sheriff Frank Crnkovich as ‘the sheriff of Naughtyham’ ” … The ghostwriter of the Kellogg PD Facebook report has struck again. Noting police had resolved a domestic dispute involving a female with a stun gun and pepper spray, the author commented: “Thinking that guy might want to think twice before making her mad again.” Bingo.

Parting shot

You should think twice before following the advice of that Facebook meme that claims you can smash a car window to save a pet inside a stranger’s vehicle. The Post Falls Police Department Facebook page warns otherwise: “Post Falls Police (Department) DOES NOT recommend doing this. DO NOT break into the vehicle or remove the dog because you can be charged for breaking and entering. Law enforcement should always be contacted before anything is done.” You need to stop believing everything you read on Facebook.

You can reach D.F. “Dave” Oliveria at 509-319-0354 or daveo@spokesman.com.