He wanted to see what sperm cells looked like

Some genius in my 10th grade biology class once masturbated into a plastic bag and brought the results to class to examine under a microscope.

That little stunt got his ass suspended.

I don’t even remember the boy’s name. I have a feeling he was a kid never referred to by anything but his last name. We were not friends. And I can’t recall if his offending preliminary behavior had taken place there at school or if he, uh, brought it from home.

But I do wonder how such an incident would be handled today. I suspect a counselor would be involved. And perhaps the question, “What were you thinking?”