Dear Kiantha: Friend group’s wise sage ready to add some spice to life

Dear Kiantha,

Among my friends, I am jokingly referred to as the wise sage of our group. Part of it is because I am typically the one with the least going on in my life, so I am available to help my friends through whatever crisis they may be experiencing at the moment. My friends and I are all in our late 40s.

Last Saturday, I sat down to relax and happened upon the movie “80 for Brady,” starring Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Morena and Sally Field. Although the movie was extremely entertaining and reminded me of my friend circle, I saw a glimpse of my future self in Sally Field’s character. Always the responsible one, always the one who takes the fewest risks and ultimately the one who ends up semi-regretting her life. I want more excitement and I don’t always want to play it safe. I want to take risks, but I am not sure where to start.

Dear Friend,

Talk about a funny movie! I actually watched the movie twice because I was fascinated by the dynamics among the four legendary actresses and the characters they played. I saw a bit of myself in all four of the characters, however, I most resonated with Lily Tomlin’s character. I admired her desire to throw caution to the wind and do things her way when she thought her life might be interrupted by extenuating circumstances.

Sally Field’s character was exactly as you said: reliable and predictable. In “80 for Brady,” Field’s character said she wanted more for herself, even at the age of 70. She appreciated the stability her life afforded her but in the end was able to reconcile that life was about balancing stability with risk and excitement.

Being that you are in your late 40s, you are in a great position to pivot. Do it right now, don’t wait. All of us are not fortunate enough to see 70 or 80. Look for ways to bring excitement into your current life. Taking risks can be both scary and exhilarating. It doesn’t have to be something big. In fact, I suggest starting with something small. Maybe a different haircut, taking up a new hobby, going dancing or simply taking yourself to a fancy dinner to celebrate the new you that is evolving.

One thing that I took away from Field’s character was that she was loved and needed in her friend circle, and I would be willing to bet you are as well.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha

Dear Kiantha can be read Fridays in The Spokesman-Review. To read this column in Spanish, visit www.spokesman.com. To submit a question, email DearKiantha@gmail.com.