Kiantha Duncan: When rekindling love, best to shine light on old issues

Dear Kiantha,

I recently crossed paths with an old love from over 25 years ago. It was a whirlwind love affair filled with lots of good times that ended abruptly for several reasons. Life went on and we both went our separate ways. My wife passed a few years ago and I am almost ready to start dating again. When my ex and I reconnected, it was like old times.

We laughed belly laughter and found comfort in each other healing old wounds, reminiscing on the love we had and remembering the tender moments we shared. I have to admit, it feels so good, but I am wondering if we should take a chance on rekindling our love if she would be open to doing so or if I should leave the past in the past and look for love in a new place? I didn’t realize that I still loved her, but I do.

Dear Friend,

Those tricky little hearts of ours, they will have us not knowing which way is up. Love has a way of hiding in the smallest veins in our bodies with the narrowest pathways bursting open when triggered by the memory, scent or the touch of a long-lost love.

Our hearts remember the feeling of tenderness when we have been truly loved. The moments of laughter and and comfort are a sign of a true intimate connection. These feelings cannot be forged or faked they are real and not everyone has the luck or fortune to experience true unfading love.

The long and short of it is when an opportunity comes around for you to rekindle a lost love the hopeless romantic in me says throw caution to the wind and go for broke, as true love really is the only thing that matters in this lifetime.

The realist and pseudo-cynic in me would be remiss not to also advise you to always jump from the plane with your parachute secured and your eyes wide open. Rekindling an old relationship can lean heavily on the romanticization of the former relationship. The good times, the love and the fun. You will want to be very conscious about the things that caused you to separate and be proactive in addressing those issues so your new love can be anchored in a solid foundation, and you can do the work for any necessary healing to assure you success in your future.

This is love, and I am here for it.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha

Dear Kiantha can be read Fridays in The Spokesman-Review. To submit a question, email DearKiantha@gmail.com.