Dear Kiantha: Seeing the humanity behind addiction can help reframe experience

Dear Kiantha,

I am tired of seeing so many drug addicts in this city. I can’t go to the grocery store without addicts standing around the door begging for change to buy more drugs. I took my granddaughter to the park; she could hardly enjoy our walk because she was so scared of the homeless people everywhere. I am not trying to be insensitive, I just want them to get out of plain sight in our city.

Dear Friend,

I can wrap my mind around the frustration you are feeling based on your perception and experiences. For people who have never been addicted to drugs, it can be a real challenge being in community with people who are actively living in their drug addiction.

A few weeks ago, I visited a grocery store on the North Side of town, and as I was exiting my car a young man walked up on the side of my car and asked me if I could spare some change so that he could get a drink. He actually startled me. This young man was clearly impaired by some sort of substance. That day also happened to be one of the hottest days we’ve seen this summer. Had I not had the means to get a cold drink, I might have asked someone for a cold drink as well.

Not even two days later, I was at the gas station and a young woman saw me pumping my gas and made her way over to me to ask for help getting something to eat. She was not asking for money; she was asking if I could get her something out of the gas station. Had I not had the means to secure something to eat, I too might have asked someone for help with something to eat.

Those two experiences back-to-back – similar to your grocery store and park experiences – felt like a lot. I understand how it can feel like this is happening everywhere, all the time and I would like to offer you something to consider.

Addiction is complicated. When we focus on the behaviors exhibited by people in active addiction, we miss out on the opportunity to see the individuals in their humanity. The very humanity that connects us one to another. When we focus solely on the inconvenience their presence presents to us, we actually miss the mark.

Addiction is often a symptom of trauma. Trauma that has a root cause, trauma that is unhealed and trauma associated with pain therefore causing a need to escape from reality. Does this truth justify drug use? Of course not. But it can help us reframe the way in which we live in community with those who are in active addiction.

Imagine if when seeing people living in active addiction, we saw their pain and trauma instead of seeing them through a lens of anger, frustration or inconvenience. How might we treat them differently? Would we offer them a cool drink on a hot day? Might we take the time to explain to our children and grandchildren that what they are actually looking at is someone who is hurting and making poor decisions out of their pain?

While we would all certainly like to live in safer communities where drug use is not an issue, to see that reality, those of us who are not living in addiction are responsible for creating communities in which trauma and the behavioral factors associated with trauma are addressed with compassion and resources. Only then will we see a decrease in number of folks with chemical dependency issues outside our grocery stores, in our parks and on our streets.

It might also be helpful to remember that grocery stores, parking lots, city parks and city streets belong to those in living with addiction as well. The city belongs to us all.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha

Dear Kiantha can be read Fridays in The Spokesman-Review. To submit your questions, please email DearKiantha@gmail.com.