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The Slice: Turn off the tricorder and focus on the road
Maybe it’s too late.
But it might be a good idea to spell out the differences between the world of “Star Trek” and real life in Spokane.
See how much of this you already knew.
Star Trek: People go to work wearing outfits that resemble children’s pajamas.
Spokane: Same.
Star Trek: Gaseous anomalies.
Spokane: Same.
Star Trek: Delta Quadrant.
Spokane: Idaho.
Star Trek: Rifts in the space-time continuum.
Spokane: City Council meetings.
Star Trek: Warp speed.
Spokane: Thirty miles per hour over the speed limit.
Star Trek: Tricorders.
Spokane: We have those, too, only people here use them while driving.
Star Trek: Shape-shifters.
Spokane: All-you-can-eat buffets.
Star Trek: “Live long and prosper.”
Spokane: “It’s just snow, people.”
Star Trek: Redshirts.
Spokane: High school dropouts.
Star Trek: The Borg.
Spokane: TV news teams.
Star Trek: Futuristic medical technology.
Spokane: “Let’s keep an eye on it and see how it goes.”
Star Trek: Anti-matter, nanoprobes, tachyon particles and phasers.
Spokane: Ballcaps, pickups, Zags fans and tasers.
Star Trek: Prime directive.
Spokane: Pretend that it makes sense to not have a state income tax.
Star Trek: “She cannot take anymore!”
Spokane: Studded tires.
Star Trek: Some ridiculously good-looking women.
Spokane: Same.
Star Trek: Captain’s Log.
Spokane: The Slice.
Star Trek: Worm holes and “Beam me up.”
Spokane: The North-South freeway and trucks parked in bike lanes.
Star Trek: Cloaking technology.
Spokane: Denial.
Star Trek: The Bird of Prey.
Spokane: Personal watercraft.
Star Trek: To boldly go ….
Spokane: Stay home and post anonymous comments on blogs.
Star Trek: Tribbles.
Spokane: Marmots.
•Today’s Slice question: What’s the local equivalent of Godwin’s Law – which suggests that the first person in an argument to trot out a Hitler or Nazis analogy automatically loses?