Good morning, Netizens…
Here are a few important (and unimportant) holidays this month of October 2009 which you might or might not have heard of much less missed:
Adopt a Shelter Dog Month
Yes, by all means help America’s animal shelters by adopting a shelter dog. Then you will possibly have a use for all those old newspapers piled in the hall closet.
American Pharmacist Month
Do you have a personal one-on-one relationship with your pharmacist?
Apple Jack Month
I am fond of telling about my history, including Apple Jack, so it makes sense to me we should have a month about it. Of course, since my granddad’s Apple Jack was notoriously delightful, people often dropped by unannounced to surreptitiously steal free samples, which is when he began making pear jack, which is a speedy and very strong replacement for Ex lax.
Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Why not instead simply have a Breast Cancer awareness Day every day?
Clergy Appreciation Month
In October we are supposed to appreciate our clergy, then at the end of the month we spend an estimated $6.9 billion celebrating Halloween, werewolves and other dead devices?
Computer Learning Month
I still have a hard time accepting the number of people who own, operate and seemingly understand computers who know little to nothing about them or the software they use.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Here’s another month-long observation that needs to be made into a daily observation.
Eat Country Ham Month
Of course, without truly understanding the difference between a country ham and an urban ham (except the urban ham gets more laughs during stand-up comedy shows) I submit that most people wouldn’t know the difference between a country ham and any other brand of ham.
International Drum Month
I personally believe there isn’t a lot of difference between buying your child a drum for Christmas or a pregnant cat.
Lupus Awareness Month
Over 1.4 million people have and suffer with lupus. The rest of us probably have little knowledge of what it is, save that it HURTS like hell.
National Diabetes, Cookie, Pizza and Popcorn Popping Month
Is there a common factor between these? Perhaps, but at least we only have one celebration of chocolate, and it’s only one day of the year. If you are going to beat diabetes, get used to not eating the things you love or else change what you crave. Yes m’dear, they do have sugar-free chocolate.
And of course, there is National Vegetarian Month, Sarcastic Month and Seafood Month in the Month of October. However, you can be grateful that tomorrow, November 1, we have a whole new month of unseen holidays (some of us never heard of) to celebrate.