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New transit system? Why not?

Good morning, Netizens...


The Spokane Transient Board, a hitherto thinly-disguised subset of our fine local government, has announced they are hot after building a new transient conveyance which ostensibly will cost approximately 36 million to build, subject to voter dissension, and will initially run from Browns Addition to Gonzaga with various stops in between. Although several different versions of the proposed public transit system have already been discussed by those-in-the-know, but not really brought before the voters, there is some question whether this will fly. However, an alternative proposed version of this system has come to light which I feel may merit some extra consideration by the voters.


Eschewing any other sources of power, such as diesel, LPG or even electrical buses, the new system which I propose will include horse-powered carriages quite similar to ones deployed at the turn of the century, with pairs of fine gray dobbins docilely traveling over the city streets.


Yes, indeed, the proposed new system will not only add new jobs to our deplorably lackluster local economy, but by carefully planting the hundreds of acres of vacant land owned by the city in timothy hay, the cost of feeding the teams of horses will be marginalized; they will eat hay locally-grown and locally-owned on 100's of acres of vacant city land that otherwise grows weeds and presently serve as contemptuous eyesores to the general public. Finally, we find a use for all that vacant city land!


Further cost savings will be achieved by putting city hall bureaucrats to work feeding and tending the horses which will become city employees, but with a novel twist: unlike present staff members, the horses will draw no income. I hereby nominate Joe Shogun to be in charge of mucking out the horse stalls since, with the next election, he will be looking for work.


The only pollution generated by this system would be the excretions of the horses, themselves. Of course, given the horse manure that comes out of City Hall these days, including the proposed new transient system, hardly anyone will notice a little horse manure on the city streets.


Who knows? This idea might catch on.



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Spokesman-Review readers blog about news and issues in Spokane written by Dave Laird.