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Multiple-choice quiz

When you see someone using one of these things, what's usually your first thought?

A) He likes toys that make a lot of noise. B) Thanks for worsening our air quality. C) Gee, I wish I had me one of them. D) So you blow stuff from here to there...uh, what exactly is the point? E) I'll bet he's a swell guy who simply doesn't realize that what he's doing makes him look like a maroon.

F) Oh, that ain't workin'. That's the way you do it. Play your leaf-blower on the MTV. G) Mine's bigger. H) I'll bet I know how that gentleman votes. I) There's another liberal arts grad pursuing his third career. J) What a great country. K) You know, I have a hunch he doesn't agonize about his carbon footprint.

L) Any birds that want to weigh in with an editorial comment from above certainly have my permission to do so. M) I guess rakes are old-fashioned. N) I wonder if this started in California. O) I hope he is using earplugs. O) The answer my friend is, well, you know. P) That really blows. Q) Wonder if you could rig that baby with a metal detector?

R) We're doomed. S) I wonder if he enjoys being an unwitting lackey for his evil OPEC overlords? T) I'm going to assume that he has to use that damn thing or he'll be fired. And I wonder how far you could shoot a tennis ball with one of those.  U) Jimmy Carter was right.

V) When did we become numb to insanity? W) Stay with it, pal! They can have our leaf-blowers when they pry them from our cold, dead, vibrated hands. X) I'll bet that guy thinks Global Warming is something the cultural elites Back East made up to try to deprive him of his arsenal-of-freedom yard tools. Y) Git 'er done. Z) Other.  

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The Slice

The online home for Paul Turner's musings and interactions with disciples of The Slice.