The Slice

Not saying condoms are laughing matter

I assume everyone has heard stories about boys who stashed a condom in their wallets about half an hour after the onset of puberty.

These fantasy-addled lads would make a big show of their not-so secret preparedness for carnal adventure. They did this even though, in 99.99% of cases, there were zero actual prospects on the horizon.

You already know all about that, I'm sure.

But did you know that, at least once upon a time, it was not unusual for boys several years younger to imitate those older kids and also pack a prophylactic? (They were not difficult to obtain. If there were none to be swiped from a poorly hidden supply at home, there was usually a handy vending machine in a nearby gas station restroom.)

This practice of prepubescent boys proudly possessing rubbers might qualify as the single most ridiculous act in modern history.

I wish I had transcripts of 11-year-old boys discussing condoms long ago. Kids today probably have all the answers. But I suspect much of the information exchanged years ago was more folkloric than factual.




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