When visiting other parts of the country, don't forget how to say…
1. “No, where we are, it hardly rains all summer.”
2. “You must be thinking of Tacoma.”
3. “No, really. We had a world's fair.”
4. “All those Dodgers you just named, from those great teams — they all played in Spokane.”
5. “Gon-ZAG-uh.”
6. “No more racists than you have around here, I'd guess.”
7. “No, we don't have a state income tax. We use a high sales tax, various fees and duct tape.”
8. “Well, you should see our daily paper in Spokane. Clear Socialist agenda forced down our throats by a wealthy Republican family.”
9. “Like I said, it's almost 300 miles away.”
10. “I'm not making it up. It's true. In Spokane you can usually go outside at night in the summer without being swarmed by insects.”
11. “So this is the famous humidity I've heard about.”
12. “No, we don't have tornadoes. We have a lot of yard sales, though.”
Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.
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