It's possible to draw up a personality profile based on whether a person takes out the trash the night before or the morning of pickup day.

Night-before people: Tend to be good listeners, reject politically motivated suggestions that they should see themselves as oppressed victims of a system that has stopped caring about them, don't put empty containers back in the fridge, wish Spokane still had AAA baseball, know the difference between "you're" and "your," could not go back to living where it's humid and realize they wouldn't last 10 minutes as a police officer.

Morning-of people: Think a lot about Hawaii, enjoy doing impressions of their co-workers trying to do impressions, eventually reached a point where they realized that being angry about everything was pointless, still feel happy about the Davenport Hotel reopening, talk to dogs, make great salads and have lost friends when those people could not handle the truth.

Then again, some of us are both night-before people AND morning-of people.

So never mind.

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