The Slice: A little acceleration can go a long way

Tell me if you agree with this. In my estimation, a driver’s perspective on whether traffic on our stretch of Interstate 90 is daunting depends almost entirely on the acceleration ability of that person’s car.

If your car has the power to speed up in a hurry, you tend to remain calm. If, on the other hand, your vehicle lacks pickup, I-90 can be nerve-wracking at certain times.

Much has been said about the SUVs vs. Small Cars thing. But I really believe that acceleration capability is what makes people feel safe when merging or changing lanes, not bulk.

It’s comforting to be able to keep a safe distance from other cars.

Now I’m not suggesting that drivers with formidable engines should or would speed all the time.

It’s just that it is nice to know you can say “giddyap” when you have to.

•Orange alert: This being October Eve, it’s almost time to start thinking about pumpkin selection.

A lot of people go by looks alone. That’s a mistake.

To really make sure your pumpkin will be a good fit in your home organization, you’ll want to conduct a thorough interview. Pumpkins tend to be pretty closed-mouthed. But you have a right to ask questions.

Here are a few you might want to consider.

Where would you like to be in five years?

How quickly do you intend to rot?

Would you be troubled by the sight of knife-wielding children approaching?

Which is more important to you: maintaining your regular hours or doing whatever is necessary to get the job done?

Are you afraid of fire?

Your academic background appears to be a tad skimpy. Have you prepared in other ways for this October?

Do you embrace new technology?

How do you feel about outdoor work?

Would you have a problem reporting to multiple supervisors?

Since you’ve spent virtually your entire career doing nothing but lying around and gaining weight, what makes you believe that you have what it takes to be a truly excellent jack-o’-lantern?

Why should we hire you to be our family’s pumpkin?

•Speaking of jumping the gun on holidays: Now that it’s played 12 months a year, has Vince Guaraldi’s “Linus and Lucy” lost its emotional oomph?

•Slice answer: Perhaps my favorite answer to the question about whether any local workplaces remind readers of the movie “Office Space” came from a young woman who used to work at The Spokesman-Review.

Yes, she said. She could name one.

•Annual reminder: You’re not fooling anyone with that “I’m buying my Halloween candy early” bit.

•Warm-up question: In what local parking lot would you see license plates from the most states?

•Today’s Slice question: What Inland Northwest farmer has the worst outdoor allergies?