The Slice: Another good one that got away

Maybe this has happened to you. A likable young colleague who has what some might regard as an alternative lifestyle announced she was moving to a bigger city far away.

Good for her, I thought. She’ll probably be happier.

Then, half a second later, I remembered: If Spokane is going to seize the future, we need to figure out how to hold on to more people like her.

“Slice answer: Marigail Sulpizio said her family’s dog, an Australian shepherd-Labrador mix named Macchia, spends hours on the couch staring out the picture window.

She doesn’t just keep watch over her family’s yard. She guards the entire cul-de-sac.

“She lets us know whenever a cat or squirrel dares to come into her sight.”

Macchia would do that by trying to paw her way through the window.

Eventually the family moved the couch a bit so the dog can’t quite reach the glass, said Sulpizio.

“My neighbors have commented that if you put a bonnet on her, she would look just like a little old lady staring out the window.”

“Mellow yellow: A friend said she knew we had gotten a pretty good dump of pine pollen one day last week when her solid gray cat, Sir Earl Gray, came in with a lovely golden tinge to his fur.

“Value added: You know how a lot of people’s e-mail messages are automatically stamped at the end with famous sayings, words of wisdom or lines from literature? Sure.

Well, The Slice has nothing against that. But wouldn’t it be great if these e-mail add-ons had a distinctly local flavor?

Just think. E-mails from Spokane could stand out from the crowd. Recipients all over the world would come to recognize that residents of the Lilac City do their own thing.

So I’ll start. Here are a few possible postscript sayings. (But I encourage you to come up with your own.)

“Live and let live is fine, but when someone starts parking in front of your house every day, it can get on your nerves.”

“In Spokane, we like to complain about the low wage scale while, at the same time, resenting anyone who happens to make decent money.”

“Coming up with minority-blaming racist theories to explain crime in an overwhelmingly white city isn’t impossible. It just means you have to try a little harder to be an idiot.”

“One way the local rag proved it has it in for Republicans was endorsing George W. Bush.”

“Hey, we’re not the only place where supposedly serious people seem to believe the Air Force’s primary mission is economic development.”

“Many in my hometown cherish their interpretation of the 2nd Amendment but think the rest of the Bill of Rights is a bunch of liberal claptrap.”

“I bargain-hunt, therefore I am.”

“Today’s Slice question: When hosts discuss whether to invite you to their party, what pros and cons probably come up?