The Slice: Hopeful czars ‘looking to’ tighten noose

All kinds of driving misdeeds and annoying cell-phone behaviors led the list of answers after The Slice asked readers what common practices they would make hanging offenses if named czar of the Inland Northwest.

But there were other beefs, too.

“Saying ‘Warshington’,” said Lisa Davis.

“Wearing shorts in the middle of winter,” said Gary Polser.

Other capital crimes included cruelty to animals, karaoke, jaywalking, using the verb form “looking to,” arguing about which is better – snowboarding or skiing, driving with a dog in the back of a pickup, failure to spay/neuter pets, poaching, booming car stereos and littering/dumping on public land.

“Just wondering: What big stores have the best/worst restrooms?

“Mass transit etiquette: “Really had to laugh about your article in Saturday’s paper about riding STA buses,” wrote Liz Bourdon. “I am in my 60s and I cannot count the times I get on the bus to find seats in the front (reserved for the elderly) completely taken up with young adults and their backpacks, groceries, strollers blocking the aisle, etc. The rest of the bus is even worse. Seems the young adults (and I use the term loosely as they act like spoiled 2-year-olds) think paying a fare to ride entitles them to take up two or more seats. Must think they are home – lounging with their feet up, reading a book or yakking away on their cell phones or listening to their loud music … I have even seen one person sit on the outside of one row of seats and then put his backpack in the seat ahead of him so no one can sit there.

“Don’t bother asking them to move – you usually get cursed at or ignored. Sharing this public form of transportation with others seems to be a forgotten concept in this day and age where all these wonderful people are being taught that having high self-esteem means I have mine and you are out of luck.

“I sure wish I could be around in 50 years to see how they are treated when they are finally old.”

“Slice answer: Signs at the entrances to Spokane ought to say “Home of … The Aspiring,” said Jenna Peterson of Liberty Lake.

“Today’s favorite real estate euphemism: “Colonial,” said Liz Cox. “Meant to describe any house with a front overhang and more than two six-by-sixes holding it up.”

“Warm-up questions: Who has eaten at the Old European Breakfast House on Sprague the most weekends in a row? Did you know there is a U.S. Coast Guard recruiting station in Spokane Valley? Does the music playing in a store or business help shape your opinion of the place?

“Today’s Slice question: What’s your family’s favorite fireplace story?