April 28, 2009 in Features

The Slice: Life can get rough next to a golf course

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Let’s call her Lisa at Green No. 4.

She lives beside a Spokane area golf course. And she has a few requests for the handful of players who could stand to polish their behavior.

Here are a few excerpts from her plea for improved links etiquette:

“If we are out on our back deck enjoying the day, please do not stare at us like we are circus sideshow freaks.”

“Could you please pick up after yourselves? The last things we want to see when we look out of our kitchen window are your empties.”

“If you overshoot the green and your ball lands in our yard, by all means, come and retrieve it. (But please pick it up and toss it back onto the course instead of playing it and leaving a divot.)”

“Please don’t use the trees bordering our yard as a urinal. We CAN see you.”

•Slice answers: I’m not sure what I expected, but answers to the question about what readers would call a romance novel based on their lives tended to be downcast.

Not quite so sad, however, as when several readers channeled beloved pets who are no longer alive in answering the one about what your dog would say to the president’s new pooch.

On another topic, Pattie Felland said it’s a given that she will forget the name of an intriguing new movie before it comes out on DVD.

•Bikes vs. cars: Sometimes a story doesn’t turn out the way you expect.

Cyclist Tom Frost shared this.

“One Fourth of July I started early to ride from our home in north Spokane, over Blanchard Pass, to Spirit Lake, where I was to meet the family and some friends for a picnic at the lake.

“As I rode along Highway 41 close to the town of Spirit Lake, this aircraft carrier-looking car with at least three colors of body panels passed me. They then slowed down, following behind me a little ways.

“I thought, ‘Great, this is it, I’m dead meat on this empty stretch of road.’

“After a bit, they pulled back alongside – I’m just waiting to be crushed into the ditch – and the lady in the passenger seat yells out the window, ‘Twenty-seven miles an hour!’

“At that, they roared off.

“We had a great day at the lake.”

•Today’s Slice question: Do you ever hold grudges on behalf of others?

I’m thinking of situations where you might have to remind family members or friends that someone is supposed to be on their enemies list. You know, “Don’t you remember? We can’t stand her, because of the time she was rude to you in 1991?”

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. For previous Slice columns, see www.spokesman.com/ columnists. Band of Horses is scheduled to play here on Sept. 2.

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