September 13, 2009 in Features

The Slice: A closer look might reveal why it’s free

By The Spokesman-Review
 

No, you aren’t the only one who sees a couch out by a curb with a “Free” sign and cringes at the thought of the leaks, spills, pet mishaps and human degradations that might have taken place on that piece of furniture.

I mean, when your own family creates the wear and tear, that’s one thing. But do you really want to inherit some stranger’s mystery blotches, scary stains and funky smells?

But speaking of “Free” signs …

Le fertilizer: Slice reader Cindi John was driving home from Priest Lake when she saw a sign that said, “Free Horse Maneur.” “I got to wondering if this was some more upscale manure than was normally produced,” she wrote.

Yes, Cindi, those are French-style droppings, more properly referred to as maneurment.

Either that or somebody can’t spell.

Possible reasons some of your neighbors haven’t figured out the holiday-week garbage pickup schedule: 1. They don’t read the paper. 2. They didn’t learn anything from the previous 78 holiday weeks. 3. They observe Garbage Day Eve. 4. So excited about the fair that they can’t think straight.

Two ways for honorees to celebrate Grandparents Day: 1. Say, “Hey, we’re not just a free babysitting service. Raise your own darn kids.” 2. Do an impression of Walter Brennan’s “hitch in his get-along” gait from “The Real McCoys.”

Slice answer: Mary Drew’s cats are named Miss Georgiana Darcy and Miss Emma Woodhouse.

Today’s Slice question: In terms of latitude, Spokane is north of at least parts of which Canadian provinces?

I’ll send a coveted reporter’s notebook or S-R coffee mug to the reader submitting the most definitive, show-your-work answer.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. For previous Slice columns, see www.spokesman.com/ columnists. This month marks the 10th anniversary of the first airing of “The West Wing.”


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