April 4, 2010 in Features

The Slice: Something extra to chew on this Easter

By The Spokesman-Review

Everyone has a certain style when it comes to eating chocolate Easter bunnies.

Which is yours?

Jaws: Like a shark, your eyes roll back in your head as you clamp your teeth down on the unsuspecting bunny’s soft underbelly.

Donner Party: You consume the chocolate rabbit strictly as a matter of survival.

Jurassic: You take the ears and head in one hideous gulp.

Hannibal Lecter: Everything is calm until, suddenly, you are biting its face with insane ferocity.

Raven: You wait until a large predator has started to devour it and then you swoop in to snag a few scraps.

Big cat: First you subdue the seasonal confection by biting the back of its neck.

Lamprey: You attach yourself to the host organism (bunny) and slowly ingest its chocolaty goodness.

Rodenator: You start by blowing up the Easter basket.

Rob Roy: Wielding a huge sword or some other cutting instrument, you begin by slicing off a section of the candy creature.

Chipmunk: Your nickname is “Choco-cheeks.”

Alien: You attach yourself to the face of the bunny.

Borg: After informing the bunny that resistance is futile, you assimilate it.

Bird of prey: One moment the bunny is safe in the basket. Then, in an instant, it’s in your talons.

Vampire: You vant to suck its chocolate.

Zombie: Noteworthy for the annoying sounds you make while eating.

Bluto: Like the “Animal House” hero stuffing a whole hamburger into his face, you pack the entire bunny into your insatiable maw.

Bunny Snatcher: You emerge from an Easter Egg-like pod after robbing the rabbit of its life essence.

Spokane: You view an Easter basket as an all-you-can-eat holiday buffet.

Today’s Slice question: Who most enjoys complaining about the way churchgoers dress these days?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. Don’t allow blind-side hits to the head during your Easter egg hunt.

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