The Slice: So much to consider just to get a little buzz

I’m thinking of making a drastic move.

I am considering becoming a coffee drinker.

You see, for a long time now I’ve liked to start work early. Ninety-nine out of 100 weekdays, I’m the first person in the newsroom.

Usually I experience a productive burst of energy right out of the starting gate and get a lot done. I revel in that time of day.

Lately though, I have been feeling a bit draggy early in the morning. The cause is no mystery. I have become less disciplined about getting to bed early enough at night.

I need to address that. No question.

In the meantime, I’m wondering if self-medicating with caffeine might be the way to go.

But here’s the thing. Even though I have lived in the Northwest longer than anywhere else, I’ve never been a coffee drinker. I don’t really know where to start.

So I have a few questions. And I invite coffee-sipping Slice readers to offer me the benefit of their experience.

1. Is there any way to narrow the taste-test options to a reasonable number?

2. Do you have to know a secret handshake?

3. How quickly do you feel a coffee buzz and how long does it last?

4. Why are the elaborate concoctions superior to a basic cup of black?

5. Over the course of a year, how much is this going to cost me?

6. Is it addicting? Will I find that I crave more than just that eye-opener first thing in the morning?

7. Will landing on Coffee World add unforeseen dimensions to my social life?

8. Are desktop tsunami-spills inevitable?

9. What are the implications for breath and teeth color?

10. How long before it becomes a simple-pleasure highlight of the day?

Today’s Slice question: Once, little boys knew the make, model and year of every car on their block. Is that ever the case today?