The Slice: Slow down and smell the carnage

I wonder.

Is there anyone around here who has possessed a driver’s license for at least a couple of years and not had the misfortune of running over a squirrel?

Doubt it. Some people might skip Bloomsday. Others might take a pass on Hoopfest. But it seems like everyone who drives a car in Spokane has squashed a squirrel or two.

For at least a few of these unpredictable rodents, every day is Friday the 13th.

Our reactions to this telltale thump under the tire vary widely. They range from genuine regret to dimwitted guffawing.

It’s true. Not everyone harbors anything akin to affection for squirrels. Some view them as bushy-tailed rats. Still, perhaps it’s fair to say that most of us have no wish to be the instrument of their demise.

Even if you view the local roadkill toll as a sort of population- control factor, seeing one of these acrobatic animals bound in front of your car and meet its end is not a happy thing. Well, except for the crows that will attend to the carcass.

In many instances, there was not much the driver could have done to avoid the mishap. In some ways, though, that can make the incidents even more troubling.

What if that had been a child?

Of course, a kid chasing a ball is larger and probably slower. You would have noticed sooner, wouldn’t you?

But if you habitually drive too fast, who is to say you could have stopped in time.

Spokane certainly doesn’t have the nation’s worst roadkill carnage. That honor likely would go to freshly carved suburbs in more verdant parts of the country that are home to denser wildlife populations.

Nevertheless, running over squirrels is an everyday thing here.

Just like speeding.

Warm-up question: What local family has the most names in common with characters in “The Brady Bunch”?

Today’s Slice question: In the Inland Northwest, what is the No. 1 major drawback to hanging laundry outside on a clothesline to dry?