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The Slice: All in the name of confusion

Fri., Sept. 30, 2011, midnight

Spokane’s Missy Tsuchida has a couple of identity issues.

Her first name leads people on the phone to assume she is, as she put it, “A tiny cheerleader type person.”

She’s not, she said.

Then there’s her last name. Tsuchida is Japanese. And people on the phone often assume that it is her ethnicity. (It is her husband’s.) Some compliment her on how well speaks English, et cetera.

But she does have one thing going for her – a handy pronunciation guide for those stumbling over her last name: “Two cheetah.”

Another identity issue: Nancy Weitz said her voice can give people the wrong impression. “I am a plump little retired granny who sounds like a 10-year-old on the phone,” she wrote.

It is not unusual for callers to ask to speak with her mother. But that works for Weitz.

“I just say she isn’t home.”

Slice answer (if we still used telephone exchange names): “My phone number starts with 448,” wrote Alison Duke. “My personal rule is that I have to go with the first thing that pops into my head. So … my phone number would start with Gilligan-8.”

Asked if she were more of a Mary Ann or a Ginger, Duke said, “I’m a perfect combination of both, of course.”

Warm-up question: How much are you looking forward to next week’s two-night Martin Scorsese documentary on George Harrison? A) I would be looking forward to it a lot if I got HBO. B) Though I’ve been told it marks me as a cultural illiterate, I do not recognize the Beatles as a significant influence. C) I just wish John were alive and could share his observations. D) A lot. Any show with a promise of including that Ed Sullivan moment – “Ladies and gentlemen … ” – I’m there. E) I just hope today’s talentless nobody celebrities watch and learn how the biggest-ever stars mostly managed to maintain their dignity. F) Other.

Today’s Slice question: A friend wrenched his back the other day lifting a kayak. Hearing about that made me wonder. What’s the quintessential Northwest minor injury?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email The Slice Blog at can be part of a complete breakfast. Slice reader Kathy Hickman’s advice: “Don’t wear a long scarf when cleaning toilets.”

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