December 15, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Please enjoy the lights responsibly

By The Spokesman-Review

So you are going to load the family into the car and drive around looking at holiday lights.

Fine. Have fun. Just remember…

Do: Wave or give a thumbs-up if the homeowner happens to be outside.

Don’t: Toss beer cans on people’s lawns.

Do: Occasionally pay attention to the road if you are the driver.

Don’t: Turn your headlights off.

Do: Pull over to the curb if you want to stop and stare at a particularly remarkable display.

Don’t: Park in the middle of the street.

Do: Point out why a certain display appeals to you.

Don’t: Keep repeating “I’ve seen better.”

Do: Reminisce.

Don’t: Feel like you have to talk nonstop.

Bill Mahaney wonders: If people could easily change their names, what new monikers would they come up with?

OK, lines are open.

But while we’re at it … I wonder how many Catholics and former Catholics can remember their Confirmation names?

No, it probably wasn’t “Lefty” or “Honey Badger.”

Just wondering: How will you be celebrating Jane Austen’s birthday Sunday? Beethoven’s?

One option would be to do what we used to do here in the features department many years ago. Noting a tendency in certain circles to highlight the connections to Spokane of certain celebrities who wasted no time getting the hell out of here, we started inserted the phrase “Spokane’s own” before names of people who actually had nothing to do with our fair city. This was just in horsing-around conversation, by the way. Not in print.

Anyway, you’ll have a chance on Sunday.

“Spokane’s own Jane Austen.”

“Spokane’s own Ludwig van Beethoven.”

It’s not a competition: But my favorite Christmas card so far came from Spokane’s Eric and Katherine Phillips family.

There was a picture of the two kids, Elke and Beau, with succinct notations reminding me of when each had appeared in a column item.

Today’s Slice question: At what Spokane area retail store would you elicit the loudest laughter from employees by saying, “And I would like to have that gift-wrapped”?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email According to The Slice Institute for Social Research, “Getting angry” is Spokane’s No. 5 most popular hobby.

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