April 20, 2013 in Features

The Slice: Please use appropriate grilling language

By The Spokesman-Review
 

You don’t need to have your own grill to take part in backyard cookout season.

You just need a nose.

Because even if you don’t fire up some charcoal or turn on the gas yourself, it’s almost inevitable that you will smell neighbors’ outdoor grilling. (If, that is, you don’t live in an isolated rural compound.)

But when you go back inside your home you’ll want to be able to file a report more detailed than “Somebody’s cooking out.”

So feel free to borrow any of the following when you detect that unmistakable aroma.

“I think they overdid it with the marinade.”

“It’s one of the other white meats.”

“Don’t go outside. They must have heard that you are a longtime vegetarian, and they are trying to get you to convert.”

“Whatever it is, I can tell it’s not a lean cut.”

“The Hekawis are sending smoke signals.”

“They didn’t wait long enough for the coals to calm down.”

“Those steaks are past well-done and are on the way to carbon dating.”

“Someone on our block is a meat maestro.”

Golf and rodents: John Nelson occasionally has the need to say “Rats!” while playing golf.

Well, one time when he was playing a local course with a nice couple from Japan, he found himself saying that. And eventually he had to explain to them that, no, he wasn’t talking about the marmots sharing the fairways.

Warm-up question: Let’s say you are not a big social media person. You aren’t on Facebook and only tweet about once a month. But you have been signed up on the LinkedIn online network for several years. When you receive an invitation to be connected to someone, you typically click on “Accept” — even when you do not know the person. Still, you had never sent out any invitations yourself, until just the other day.

So what went through your mind while waiting for the automated replies indicating how these targeted individuals had responded to your friendly overture?

Today’s Slice question: Do you have any memories of Elvis Presley’s concert in Spokane 40 years ago this month? (It was the second of his three appearances here over the years.)

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Feel free to spot a trend in college dorm room posters.

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